MY life

So I know I posted a short rant on my Facebook page, and was brutally attacked by a man who chose to be offended, probably thinking I was badmouthing all of this delightful little town as a whole. I do need to make clear that I love this idiotic town, even with its corrupt city and county politics, "good old boy" system of running school and community sports, and all the other crap that would never be tolerated in a larger city. I get the "code" of St. Johns and I still live here because I like it. I really like that I am an outcast and always will be because I don't have to look at myself in the mirror each day and remind myself that while I call myself a member of the LDS church, my behavior says I am really more concerned with these "secret combinations." I am really glad I don't have to be "that person."

But one thing that really does bother me is that the same three or four people like to jump into the middle of everyone else's thoughts and try to turn the world around to favor themselves. As if MY facebook page needs to be about so-in-so's son who just happens to work at the store that I detest because of its piss-poor customer service. I was about to say that this said person's son is about the only one at that store who I have ever seen treating people nicely. But since I do not have the right to voice MY opinion on MY facebook page, I'll just keep that little tidbit to myself. He really is a nice guy, though.

I also find it interesting that people who confide in me about things, suddenly clam up and hide their opinion when I am sticking my neck out there in a very unpopular place. People who talk about how bad they hate that certain families get special favors because of their name, money, religious affiliation, personal vendettas, etc., but when those people are called up about it, suddenly these "friends" have no opinion. Love this so much!

Okay, I didn't just get on here to complain. I've tried countless times to change these things I speak of. I do not ask for help or "vent" until I have tried everything I know of to fix the problem. There are a lot of talkers out there in the world who refuse to try to walk the walk when it comes down to it. I break my back before I sit down and complain. It is part of my work ethic to work first, bitch later. Apparently this whole work ethic is a foreign concept to some people. These people figure others don't work any harder than they do, and so when someone is complaining, it is because they are too lazy to do anything about it. Well...I guess some people are like that, but not me.

Several people have asked me the last couple weeks why I didn't apply to work at St. Johns schools. There are still positions open that I am qualified for, so I will tell you. There's nobody out there reading this, so that was just a figure of speech. The truth is that I was very blatantly told that I could not work at the high school and so I need not bother to apply. I cannot remember the exact words, but they were something along the lines of, "maybe if we were desperate, we'd hire you as a last resort until someone else came along." Okay, I get that. I do. No hard feelings. Hope you guys can fill that other English position.  I was told in no subtle way that I could not really be expected to be hired at the Middle School unless I changed my own work ethic to not think for myself, not come up with any ideas for myself, follow blindly without desiring to improve my ability as a teacher, and to do whatever I was told to do, ethical or not. So needless to say, it will take an act of God to make me ever consider applying there. I love the teachers and the kids, and it is an amazing team in each grade level. And of course, my "brother" is an amazing guy who I would love to work with. I just don't see it fitting me unless something drastic changes. There is more to it than that, of course, but I don't really want to burn ALL my bridges. And the primary school...well, those guys down there are so awesome. So, so, so awesome! Great team, great admin, great support staff. But let's face it. I'm just not a kindergarten teacher, and as much as I would love to work with those amazing people at Coronado, I am just not a great teacher of little kiddoes. I am grateful the staff on my interview panel listened so closely to the promptings and did not hire me last year.

And the most important reason of all: more important than my dislike for some people in SJ, more important than my distaste for the gossip and backbiting I hear at church from people who work together, is the fact that I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the people in Round Valley. I love my boss with all my heart. He is honest, hard-working, intelligent, funny, and allows all of us teachers to really spread our wings and expand our horizons to teach what we want, when we want and how we want. He bends over backwards to encourage us to learn as much as we can, take extra classes, attend seminars, and just be the best we can be. We do not lose our integrity or individuality by working on his team, and I really feel like we are a team. I love, love, love my 8th-grade team! There are some very strong, very smart personalities on our team that really make for a fun experience. They are all smart and talented and willing to help out the rookie (yeah, me) with all those little things that we need help with. They took me under their wings and molded me and guided me and gave me advice without forcing me to take it. This team is amazing! My science team is equally amazing, and I have never instantly loved or respected anyone the way I have Lisa and Carlynn. These two ladies are so enthusiastic and driven in their careers. They learn everything they can to be the best possible, they have passion for the kids and for education, and they want to make it as fun as possible while reaching very lofty goals. They are amazing ladies and I feel so privileged to be able to work with them. I can only get better by being around them.
Plus, I have a greenhouse on my classroom. Seriously, a greenhouse. And I run the gifted program, and have several other responsiblities that I find challenging and fun! I can't think of anything that would make me walk away from the amazing career opportunity I have at Round Valley Middle School. I feel like I have found my place in the world, and I can't imagine having to give that up. I certainly would never do it willingly.

Anyway, I just really like where I am. I like not having to face my boss and not know whether he is wearing his "principal" hat or his "stake president" hat. I really like the fact that I don't even have to see it. I really like that I can go to church and still respect the people in my ward and my stake because I am not seeing them do anything unethical at work. I like going to work with people in Round Valley and not having to wonder what they do out in the community, whether they fulfill church callings or not, and whether they are involved with community stuff. I like having the divide between MY life in Round Valley and my FAMILY life here in Saint Johns.